An Accidental Love Story: Part 3

100 Red R̶o̶s̶e̶s̶ Flags

So here's the thing: I noticed a lot of red flags about Sara pretty quickly. But each one was small, and seemingly I was the only one bothered, so I wasn't sure if I was overreacting. Maybe I was projecting my negative feelings onto her because I was jealous? I didn't think I was, but I couldn't explain why she made me uncomfortable. Turns out my intuition is just phenomenal! But saying "I don't like her vibes" didn't feel substantial enough to keep Dakota from seeing her so I let it go. Unfortunately it was right after I decided to go ahead and pursue a sexual relationship with Ryan that everything started to spiral. Probably because I started sleeping with him, which is super funny since she was pushing for it. But she's a psychotic bitch so I don't know why I'm acting confused right now, everything she does is 100% controlled by her feelings in that very moment with zero planning or regard to other people's feelings.

Okay let me take a deep breath before I get ahead of myself. The first red flag was after the first solo date with Dakota when he was dropping her off. She wanted him to park down the street so she could suck his dick in the car. And you might be thinking, "Diana, that's not a big deal what's the problem?" Well, he has a convertible. The top was down. That's just so unclassy. She's literally a mother that lives in this neighborhood and she wanted to suck dick out in the open in front of her neighbors... Just gave me the ick when he told me. He opted to put the top up. This was the first in a long line of actions with my husband that made me feel uncomfortable.

The second and much larger red flag was that she didn't seem to respect, or maybe not even like Ryan? Each time we were at their house I noticed subtle digs, stories she'd tell and laugh at even though he seemed uncomfortable, and just generally not seeming to respect his boundaries. To me privately she made fun of him for not lasting very long in bed. Which... idk. Made me super uncomfortable and I didn't know how to respond. I said something like, "Well, I don't take long" with a nervous laugh. She also... is into his brother? This seemed to be an ongoing joke that she found super funny and he found uncomfortable - actually, a quick aside about this:

I don't know what fucked up shit she's been saying to him, but several months later when we got onto the topic of his brother he said I would like him. I asked why, expecting him to bring up some shared opinions, personality traits, or hobbies. Anything like that. He mentioned that his brother was more handsome than he was. The fuck? There's lots of people more handsome than he is (I think he's cute but I'm not going to act like he's the most attractive man on the planet) that doesn't mean I want them more. And, quite frankly, while I think his brother is more conventionally attractive I think Ryan has more striking features. Like I think more people would find his brother a bit more attractive but I think some people would find Ryan a lot more attractive. I don't know, maybe I'm rambling at this point. It doesn't actually matter what I think, I'm not his wife. I don't think the person that married him should be telling him he's the ugly brother.

Anyway! At some point she kissed his brother and seemingly frequently flirted with him? Joked about wanting to sleep with him. I'm not entirely sure what their relationship is/was, probably because I felt so awkward I tuned it out, but she seemed to think this was sooo funny. She also felt the need to tell us she's really into black guys (Ryan is not black) and that her dad was so glad she didn't end up with a black guy (racist?). I'm forgetting some of the myriad of small remarks like these, but in general she seemed to be implying that she didn't find him that attractive. And based off his self-esteem around his appearance when we started dating, I'm going to guess he heard these things somewhat often.

Finally, a stupid, stupid example that sticks out in my mind to this day is the chili. Ryan had made dinner for her and their kid. It was chili. I came over to their house and she was going to go to mine to spend time with Dakota. A little wife swap or whatever. When I came over I was offered some chili. Sara began telling me not to eat it, that it was disgusting, that neither her nor their kid wanted to eat it (which I suspect was prompted by her saying it was gross, of course a small child won't want to eat something you say is gross), just really hammering home how bad it was. And while he played this off I think it hurt his feelings. Maybe it didn't hurt his feelings but it definitely would've hurt mine! And the thing is the chili wasn't even bad! It was a bit bland but a far cry from "disgusting."

If we don't count frozen pizzas and boxed mac and cheese, Dakota has probably cooked a dozen dinners or less since we've been together. If he took the time to make a dinner for us, even if it was disgusting, I would simply thank him and provide some constructive feedback. I myself have made some bland dishes from time to time and he never complains, he's just thankful I've cooked for him. This chili incident has always sat wrong in my soul. But the thing is who am I to judge their relationship? Maybe they joke with each other differently than we do?

To be honest, since we met them on a kink specific app, I just kind of figured he had a humiliation/degradation kink. I thought this was the light stuff and they were testing the waters to see if we could handle it before amping it up. It was the only explanation I could come up with for someone talking to their spouse like that, especially in front of new people they didn't even really know. But hey, I wasn't going to yuck their yum. I personally am not into it (I wish I was, I'd be a better domme) but if he and I could maintain a vanilla sex life then who cares what they do.

Now if the red flags stopped there everything would've been fine. But we're just getting started.

Actually, scratch that. We're going to stop here for Part 3. I kept listing weird shit she did and then remembering more weird shit she did and trying to figure out where it should fit into this story. What I have so far doubles the length of this post and I keep remembering more. Part 4 will be a continuation of her red flags and at this rate maybe Part 5 too. What's crazy is Ryan will probably read this. Maybe not right away but eventually. He knows my reddit and I'm willing to bet is going to check in on me. He's going to see that I've listed his wife's initial red flags as three separate "4 min read" posts and still think maybe he can fix everything. Let's all laugh at Ryan, since he seemingly does have a humiliation kink. Staying with someone so fucking embarrassing would make me want to kill myself. Although he does want to kill himself... Anyway,

See you all next post :)