"You travel so much"

I just landed in O’Hare. I actually typed this up on the plane. As I was walking down the terminal to find my gate I couldn’t get an interaction out of my head. Stephanie Schutt, the evil attorney that was going around showing my pornography to toddlers, was incredulous at how much I travelled.

“You travel so much you don’t know the last time you were there?”

I wanted to say, “yeah, bum bitch, I do. Get your bread up.” But I didn’t. My best rebuttal was that my car, with her name and sins written on my windows, was parked at our airports for four separate trips I made within the next month. Since you’re almost certainly here from Reddit, I’m sure you’ve seen what I’m talking about. If you’re new here and stumbled upon my blog from somewhere besides Reddit, I bet this whole intro is incredibly confusing.

No worries, backstory isn’t actually important for this post.

It’s just that every time I travel now I hear the incredulous, “you travel so much?” and picture the weird face she makes that gives her a double chin. Of course I travel. It’s one of my love languages to myself; booking, planning, and taking a trip. Trying new food. Grinding as hard as I can on Duolingo for a month on a language I’ve never even seen before using my incredibly elementary vocab and broken grammar with the locals (who are always very nice about it).

I love travelling, and I love travelling with loved ones.

Taking a trip, whether for business, a vacation, or a family event, is always a test of a relationship. Admittedly, in the beginning, for me and Dakota, we passed the test each time but sometimes only barely. We both are… particular in certain ways. A rhythm that was easy for us at home got thrown off when we travelled.

We’ve gotten better, for sure. Mostly due to me learning I can’t plan every detail of a trip and we have to go with the flow. I’m sure he has also made some changes to help me be less stressed, but in general I’ve just learned to plan less. Let’s hop off the plane and see what happens.

Perhaps this is why travel with Ryan has been easier. I've taken two trips with him so far over the years, one road trip and one flight across the country. Both went shockingly well. Much better than I’d expect for someone I haven’t travelled with before. Granted, neither of us have had our kids with us when we do this, which obviously helps a lot. And like I said, my almost decade of trips with Dakota has perhaps taught me a bit about being a better travel companion. But us being able to travel together is a big green flag for me.

I love my best friend. But we simply aren’t compatible travel companions. We have different desires, different paces, and different UV tolerances that simply don’t align. And that’s okay! But I like to be able to take vacations with my partners, so having a partner I can travel with without losing my mind is damn near a deal breaker.

This is one of the things I look forward to but am also incredibly anxious about if I ever find a gf. Having lesbian sex on a balcony that overlooks a beach sounds like heaven. But so far I have been extremely picky with women which hasn’t helped me find a long term girlfriend. I’m slightly worried I’ll finally find one and then we’ll hate each other by the end of our first trip together.

What are your thoughts? Do you agree? Do vacations test relationships, or is this just a me problem? I wouldn’t be surprised if it is, but I can’t help it. Travel is part of who I am, so I need someone who can be along for the ride.