Cuddle Me

Why is it that cuddling is innate to all mammals? As well as many other animals? What mammals don’t cuddle their babies? Wrapping them in warmth. Many cuddle their mates as well. It’s instinctual. But what fascinates me is that this inherent desire includes cuddling between different species as well. Nearly every furry pet wants to cuddle with its owner (at least on occasion). What biological advantage does this give us? Or is it just an accidental byproduct of our evolution?

I miss naps with my daughter. She’s apparently outgrown them and won’t settle down unless she’s in her room alone. But napping with her for the first nine months of her life was my favorite thing to do. It felt so… well, biologically driven. I was meant to hold her nearly every second of every day while she became mobile. Meant to protect her.

But what’s weird to me is that cuddling her feels no different than cuddling Dakota, or Ryan, or my cats. There are different types of love: platonic, parental, romantic, etc. And we tend to express these different types of love with different types of affection. But cuddling is universal. In high school I frequently cuddled my best friend. On occasion, when we’re both visiting our parents at the same time, I find myself lying on my brother.

Physical touch is definitely my top love language, there’s no doubt about it, so maybe my affinity for cuddling is strange to others. But feeling one another’s skin, even in the most innocent and least sexual way possible, fills my brain with oxytocin. When I’m stressed my go to cure has always been holding my cat or wrapping Dakota’s arms around me. Now that I have a child it’s picking her up and kissing the top of her head before I nuzzle into the thin hair she’s slowly but surely growing.

I hate that I can’t be there with Ryan when he goes to bed. He shouldn’t have to sleep alone. But on the rare occasion I spend the night with him I feel bad I’m not there with Dakota to cuddle him as well. I wish I could clone myself so everyone can get the love they deserve. But maybe it’s less deep to them than it is to me.

Perhaps it sounds stupid but I do really believe a decent bit of the reason Dakota and I are together is simply that our bodies fit together so well. Men who are taller or proportioned differently or are heavier set just aren’t as comfortable. I don’t fit into them as well. But when he is big spoon the way our knees, hips, and shoulders align is like nesting a puzzle piece into its neighbor.

Are all of these thoughts connected or did this seem more like a stream of consciousness post? I don’t really care. The point is cuddling is great.