I wanna ride a cowboy

I have this problem where I am sexually attracted to people I’m not actually attracted to. That probably doesn’t make a lot of sense but I don’t know how else to describe it. ABGs are the pinnacle of sexiness to me. If I finally got a girlfriend like that my entire existence would revolve around making her cum. However, from my experience I don’t like to hold conversations with them. Pretty much any woman that tries to be an “IG Baddie” is not going to be the type of woman I actually want to hangout with, unfortunately. Although my search continues.

My equivalent for men is cowboys. Fuck. Cowboys are so sexy!! Why? I have no idea. I can’t explain my attraction to them but it’s strong. Now, I’m generally zero percent interested in any man that’s a cowboy. Which is unfortunate. I’ve discussed my political leaning as a queer, woman of color in sex work. My views do not typically align with cowboys (at least in this country). And I can’t let a man inside me that doesn’t respect me. But oh my God I want to.

I had a huge crush on Sam from the movie Holes. I assumed this was because he was an attractive black man (back when I thought I preferred black men over white ones). Further introspection has made me realize it was because he was a cowboy. When I was doing fertility treatments and my hormones were wild a song about cowboys made me so horny I couldn't focus at work. But why? I don’t get it. I don’t get how dumb boots and obnoxious belt buckles and stupid hats get me worked up. I like their drawl. Their walk. Chewing tobacco is disgusting and yet something about a cowboy using it makes it… almost hot?

I just know they can fuck. And I don’t mean the douchebags with office jobs that inexplicably have $400 boots and $120,000 pickups, neither of which have ever seen mud. I mean the men that are actually doing manual labor. You can’t tell me a man that’s done rodeos can’t give me the time of my life in bed. The men I’ve dated are from cities like Minneapolis and Denver… give me a man from bumfuck Oklahoma.

If you’re reading this, and you’re an ABG or a cowboy, send me a message. I need you on a carnal level. Please.