Magic Words

Alright, alright. If you’ve been around for a while you know I’m superstitious about giving names to my characters because I believe a man will embarrass you as soon as you publicly acknowledge him. And despite the fact my blog is anonymous with pseudonyms… It still feels like it’s true.

So with hesitation I announce that my man of nearly four months is Dwayne. He’s been mentioned a couple times but things have been relatively calm (thank God) so I haven’t had a ton to write about. The normalcy of this relationship is refreshing compared to everything that’s happened the last couple of years.

Seemingly Dwayne’s last relationship was not so great. When we met he’d been single for a whopping two weeks. Looking back I probably should’ve taken that red flag more seriously, but I guess I needed a distraction as much as he did. Only within the last couple weeks has he opened up about his ex that he dated for nearly two years.

“I appreciate that you say thank you.”

I squinted at him. “What do you mean?”

“Like when I bring you a drink when I come over or something. Or when I pay for dinner.”

I put my hands up like:

“I don’t know. I guess I didn’t notice at the time, but [ex’s name] never did that.”

Absolutely wild concept to me. My child who only speaks a few words already pretty regularly says ‘please’ and, with some reminding, ‘thank you’ as well. Can’t even say them but uses sign language. The idea of a grown adult not defaulting to saying please and thank you when someone does something for them is wild to me.

I will say, I had a bit of an odd interaction once. It was many years ago, before (well, between when) Dakota and I were together. The man I was sleeping with had gone down on me and made me cum, as one does. When we were finished, him lying next to me, I turned to him with a happy smile and said, “thank you.”

“Why do you thank me?”

I wasn’t sure what he meant by the question. “Because you went down on me?”

“You always say thank you. You don’t have to thank me,” he laughed.

I thought about it. I had always said thank you. I said thank you to my first boyfriend whom I lost my virginity to. And he didn’t make it weird although I don’t think he said it back. I don’t think anyone had until Dakota, because I remember him thanking me for oral and it stuck out in my brain. When it had happened I didn’t realize it, but now that I was pondering back about thanking my previous partners, I think it stuck out because he was the first to say it back. Either way, none of my previous partners had made it weird when I said thank you and I never considered it to be awkward. I was just thanking them for doing something nice for me, as I would if it was any other act of service.

That interaction made me feel a bit sheepish about thanking partners going forward, although it definitely slips out if I’m catching my breath from a particularly good session. I can’t help but be grateful for a waterfall of orgasms.

Circling back to Dwayne. It made me happy at how happy simple pleases and thank yous made him. It reminded me to keep working on thanking Dakota for the chores I even forget he does around the house because I don’t even think about them. I don’t want him to feel unappreciated, he just does such a great job that I forget he’s doing the job.

Don’t forget your magic words. They mean more than you know.