Subspace

I’ve always identified as a switch. Mostly because I’m a people pleaser… at least when it comes to the bedroom. I love making my partners feel good. That’s what turns me on the most.

One of my most treasured sex memories is a threesome with Dakota and a woman, he was fucking me in doggy while I ate her out. I felt her pussy tighten around my fingers so hard I could barely keep moving them. Then Dakota changed his stroke. You know how men fuck when they’re on the brink? So… desperate. It’s often a little faster but even if the tempo stays the same it’s… a little harder? A little deeper? There suddenly seems to be an extra half inch of dick that simply didn’t exist before those final seconds.

It hurts a bit… Actually sometimes it hurts a lot. But I take it like a good girl. In that moment feeling that release is all of the reward I need to bear a little pain.

So I feel him cum inside me in the same moment she cums on my face, him stretching me and her squeezing me, and it was marvelous. I love being used for pleasure. Which is why I’m a switch. I play whatever role needs to be filled.

Because Dakota is a sub I’ve simply had more practice being a domme so I’m more comfortable with the concept. Plus, when I like to be dominated I mean it in the physical sense. That’s not something I let random men do. I need to build a lot of trust before you can hurt me. All of this is to say I never really experienced being submissive before meeting Ryan.

Oh.

A few years ago a woman described “subspace” to me. A floaty feeling you get when being dominated. Feeling like you’re physically melting underneath them. I thought she was being dramatic, just flirting with me. She wanted me to domme her. But it turns out it’s true! It’s a natural chemical high that fucks with your brain. It’s incredible.

For a little while I didn’t make the connection, I just thought it was really good sex. Then I remembered the term “subspace” and it clicked. For a little while longer I just enjoyed being a sub a surprising amount but didn’t give it much thought. But recently I started thinking about it more deeply and I want to experiment. I want to adjust my domme style. I want to put Dakota in subspace.

Is there a domme equivalent? Because I do enjoy dominating, making subs squirm and beg and whimper, I like the feeling of power it gives me… But it doesn’t give me a literal euphoria like being a sub does. And I think it is because I’ve focused so much on domming in a way that my subs find pleasant rather than what I want. And perhaps that has been a disservice to both of us.

I feel like sex often means feeding off each other’s energy. Perhaps if I’m selfish in my dominating, if I am there for me and me only, it will actually mean more pleasure for Dakota. Perhaps I can find domspace and put him into subspace.