The Girl of My Dreams

Let me tell you about the girl of my dreams. And I'm saying that because I'm honestly I’m not convinced this wasn’t actually all a dream.

I matched with a girl, Jenny, on Hinge. We went on a date and it was fine. She was cute enough if we had clicked really well, and we clicked well enough if she was super cute, but it was kind of middle of the road on both. If that makes sense. I would have fucked because I hadn’t been with a woman in a while, but I also wouldn’t have been terribly broken if she wasn’t into me.

A few days after the date I matched with a cuter girl on Hinge, Yuri. She was exactly my type, a very petite Asian girl. After we matched she let me know I was dating her friend. Uh… I wasn’t dating anyone… I asked who she meant and she said Jenny. I tried to backtrack so I didn’t sound like a dick, it’s just that I’d only been on one date with that woman. I’d been on many first dates so I needed more clarity. “Yes! We went on a date Tuesday!” I said.

She said she thought I was cute but that she didn’t want to overstep since her friend found me first. I was disappointed, I definitely found her more attractive, but I tried to look at the bright side. If her friend was trying to claim me after one date surely it meant she was pretty into me. “I respect that, I don’t want to make either of you uncomfortable. But I do think you’re cute so I’d love to get to know you if the chance comes up.”

A few days after that Jenny said she wasn’t ready to date. Which didn’t surprise me, she had just gotten out of a seven year relationship like that week which was a red flag to me on the date, but also I know with long term relationships like that sometimes the relationship dies well before it’s officially over. Who am I to dictate other people’s feelings and readiness to date? Anyway, I guess she decided she needed to work on herself and be single for a bit. No worries! She said I had her blessing to pursue her friend and roommate, Yuri.

Fuck yeah.

I message Yuri almost immediately. Like, I waited maybe a couple hours since they clearly talk about everything, I didn’t want to seem too eager…but I also couldn’t help myself. I let her know Jenny isn’t looking to date right now and that she said she’s cool with us dating.

I add Yuri on snap. A snap that is brand new. And she has no other social media. Supposedly she has a stalker. Her real name is Alex, not Yuri. She’s pretty shy about sending pics because she’s self conscious. Okay… All of this is feeling very catfishy, but Jenny was real and seemed normal, so unless they’re running some scam together… Oh God. Are they running some scam together?

I take the chance for the time being because why not? It’s just snapping. And let me tell y’all; this woman was perfect. She was into being a sub to me or to me and Dakota together. She was also willing to dom him with me. We had a spicy groupchat with the three of us and she had us both horny constantly. She talked about different outfits she had that she could wear for us. We just had such chemistry with her.

But we could never see her. There was always something that would come up. I think one time she had just gotten microneedling done on her face and couldn’t wear makeup or be in the sun at all and it made her face red and puffy. That was the final example that made me super sure this girl wasn’t real…

Except then we went on a date. Shortly after I’d decided she definitely wasn’t real she actually went on a real live date with me and Dakota. And after we ate sushi she invited us back to her apartment to swim in her pool. We stopped home to grab our swimsuits and by the time we got to her place it was raining. Thundering. Awesomeeeee. I was looking forward to hanging out with her, both of us half naked.

Instead she invites us upstairs to watch a horror movie. We’re all three cuddled on the couch when Jenny walks in and goes to her room. A little awkward but I’m not going to let that stop me.

By the end of the night we’re in her bedroom getting undressed. I felt feelings I’d never felt before. I see why men love petite women, it’s so sexy for them to be smaller and daintier than you. Which at 4’ 10” and 105lbs is not something I’d ever personally experienced. But she was a couple inches shorter than me and under 90 pounds. Her hands were so tiny. Like how men’s hands look next to mine? That’s how mine looked next to hers. How was she so tiny? How could she be even more perfect than I thought?

She wasn’t ready to have sex with us (understandable on a first date) but she wanted to watch us. We kissed her lips and her neck and her breasts but we didn’t touch south of the border. Dakota and I ended up having sex on top of her, me making out with her while he fucked me from behind. It was all very hot and I was very excited to make this apparently real woman our girlfriend. The search was finally over.

Shortly after this she got very sick and was in the hospital. Another excuse that sounded fake but… she was real!!! Actually real! So of course I assume this isn’t a lie. Dakota and I are both checking in every couple days, asking if she wants us to bring her anything, etc. After a couple of weeks she gets out of the hospital but she’s busy with some other things. That makes sense, after being out of commission for a couple weeks. Plenty of things to catch up on.

But we just… never see her again. Eventually she just stops opening our messages. And it’s like she never existed. I remember this fever dream from time to time and I check with Dakota that we did in fact meet her and actually saw she was real. If you discount the four hours we spent with her, the other couple months really felt like a complete catfish I was in a long distance relationship with or something.

I hope someday we’ll find our next Alex. She was perfect.